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So, since I'm a little paranoid about some of the potential side effects to this new drug, I've decided to keep a daily blog about it and my emotional state. Good news, you know, for those of you who don't care - I'll probably just update this entry daily instead of making a brand new entry each day.


Seriously, no thoughts of suicide, other than being fearful that I'm suddenly gonna wanna do it. Also, no urges to otherwise hurt myself - the fact that my foot is still hurting (sharp stabbing pains from time to time) annoys me instead of making me think "hey, I want some more of that."

In fact, I feel downright chipper today, so that's good, so far.

So, anyway, just before going to bed last night I took the pill as instructed. A bit of backstory here. Yesterday my appointment was early in the morning, and is also about an hours drive from where I live, so I expected to be sleepy/tired by the time I returned home, and sure enough I was. So much so that after cruising the net for a short time I went to bed - I didn't plan to really sleep, but then again I never do. Anyway, I was probably asleep by four, and I didn't wake until twenty after seven. So that was quite a bit of sleep. So much so that the man in my life joked that I'd never be able to get to sleep that night.

And any other time he'd have been right. But apparently Neurontin really does make one sleepy, or else it was just because I felt like shit. You see, I'm pretty sure my allergies are acting up right now, and yesterday afternoon and evening I was running a bit of a fever. So, the pill might not have made me sleepy so much as the being sick made me sleepy.
(I can't even say whether or not it made me dizzy, because thanks to my stopped up head I was feeling a bit dizzy before I ever took the pill, but it didn't seem like the pill made that worse.)

The good news is that I feel better today - no fever, though inside my head (my ear "ducts") is still hurting (and has been for several days). Seriously right next to the opening of my ear there is great pain when I move my head a certain way (the other day (Sunday) it hurt if I moved my head at all, so there is improvement), and I can feel the "fullness" even down in to my neck. But again otherwise I feel good today.

The bad news is that my feet don't really feel better today. Of course, I've only taken the pill one time, and when I first got up today I thought my feet might feel a little better (I do think I might actually be walking a bit more normally), but after having gone to work (which requires a bit of walking) my feet are now feeling pretty much like they always do.

So, that's Day One, at least so far, since the day really isn't close to being over yet.


( Neurontin Day Two Mental State - I am married to Jared Padalecki )


Doggie Update - plus Neurontin Day Three
Mood: Meh
On the good side of "Meh" of course.

So, a friend of mine on another site asked if doggie was okay, which made me go "hmmm" because I wasn't aware until that moment that I hadn't given a doggie update.

So, here it is - the tumor was NOT cancerous, and she has almost completely healed up around the surgery site itself. The place is still not healed completely, but you'd never know it by watching her, because she's been moving like her usual self for about a week now.

Now me!

So, last night I thought (if everything was well) I'd be giving you another of those BS updates on my mental state, but shockingly I'm just not feeling as "playfull" as yesterday, but (OH HAPPY DAY!) I'm still not feeling the urge to hurt myself or worse.

So, that's the important thing.

Also, yeah, I think maybe it's helping my feet, though don't misunderstand my feet are still freakin' hurting, I just don't think they're hurting as bad as they was, but I don't know if that's just me letting hope run away with itself or if my feet are in fact feeling better.

Stay tuned, cause maybe my playfull mood will make a comeback tomorrow, especially if my feet are improving, cause after two years of pain if the pain did suddenly go away I do think that would make for a super awesome mood.



Neurontin Day Four - WHOO-BOY! Or brace yourself for TMI!

But first I suppose Day Three needs a bit of an epilogue...

I think I figured out why Wednesday's really good mood did not last in to Thursday. Despite my hopeful tone, I no longer believe the meds are really working for the foot pain. SO, damn it all, I'm probably in line for some expensive blood work when I go back to the doctor now. *sigh*

You see, Wednesday I didn't have to work or otherwise do very much in the way of walking, so there was no real "pressure" on my feet. Which, to be fair, before the meds pressure or not it didn't really matter they (my feet) would pretty much hurt all the time no matter what.

Anyway, after I made yesterday's short note, my feet started to hurt very much badly. Though I do believe they still feel a little better then they did before, maybe a little, mostly because I can now slip into my houseshoes without feeling like the skin of my big toes is being stripped off.

However, unlike Wednesday I couldn't wear real shoes all day, because just after mid-day the 'real' shoes started to once again feel like they was crushing my feet. And trust me when I say that's funny, because for the past year I've been wearing shoes that are almost three sizes to big for my feet. SHUT UP! Seriously, when I wear shoes that actually fit, if I can walk at all, I can only walk with severe limping, so at least bigger shoes allow me to walk without limping.

So, meds working or not working, I suspect the increase in pain just sucked the good mood right the hell out of me.

So that's the epilogue to yesterday, now lets talk about late last night and today.

Late last night I noticed that I can no longer bend my toes at the bendy joint anymore, and this morning that was still the case. *sigh* Bending was nice for the all of two days I could. On the other hand, my feet do feel slightly better today then they did late last night. But we'll see, because in a few hours I'll be going outside to start getting more gardening stuff ready to go, and even later still I will be (hopefully) starting some tomato seeds.

But to back-track a moment, there's an "interesting" story in and of itself about my mood. Like I said above I think I discovered that the return of pain sucked my good mood dry, but late last night... Well, I don't think Neurontin is changing my mood(s) so much as enhancing the moods I normally have. When I'm in a good mood it turns it into a GREAT mood, but when I get just a little annoyed/pissed WHOO-BOY! I have a few times in my life been as pissed off as I ended up being last night, but being that pissed off is very very rare, and usually involves slightly more then being forced to DVR one of my shows because of a ballgame. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually always annoyed when a stupid game disrupts MY TV viewing, but rarely to the extent it did last night. However, admittedly I did notice the same extreme annoyance this winter during football, though that's probably because pain affected my mood.

The good news is that I still want to LIVE, nor do I have a desire to hurt myself, and for the most part I am mostly calm, and as mentioned my feet aren't hurting very bad, at least for now.

However, there was a blip about a hour or so ago. Spring has sprung, yesterday was warm and the house got a little hot, but to save money I didn't turn the air on and opening the windows mostly worked. However, by noon today it was all ready seventy six degrees in the house (and about the same outside), and just walking from one end of the house to the other made me sweat, I mean seriously sweat.

(*) TMI - I spent most of last summer with a damn heat rash in various places, so I'm not eager to repeat that experience.

So, I set the air to come on when it reached seventy seven, because I'm still trying to save money by pushing the high-end of comfort level. But when it did come on the big fan on the unit didn't come on (the fan that cools the motor, so it not working is bad, mmmKay!), so I had to turn it off. The good news is that it is working fine now, but I did have a moment of extreme panic, until someone suggested taking a stick and forcing the fan to turn, because apparently sometimes those things just need a little help after being off for months. I did not know that, because I can't recall that happening before.

So, that's the news for now - if doing some gardening prep-work causes that to change I might come back and add to this later, or I might just wait until tomorrow again.

(*) This whole thing might be a little TMI for some people. On the other hand, that's kind of the point of me doing this.


( Neurontin Day Six, bonus gardening & updates from the astral plane )

( Neurontin Day Seven - There's a bleeping dreamverse now! )

( Neurontin Day Ten - I am sorry if I worried anyone )

( Help! In PAIN! SEND DRUGS! (After the Neurontin) )
 
 
 
 
 
 
No suicidal thoughts is good! :)

-x-

Yeah, and now that more of the day has passed I can say that emotionally I don't feel any different. Though I am a bit less chipper now, but that's cause my head won't stop hurting and it's starting to make me a little cranky.
(Of course, that side effect could still kick in after future doses, so I'm not yet able to push that fear away.)
I hope the meds will do something positive. :)
Me too. Me too, especially since if these pills don't work I'll have to get a whole bunch of blood tests again next time I go, and that costs more then a little money. And that doesn't even mention that his office is on the sixth floor and I HATE riding in elevators, especially ones (such as in that building) that feel like they move way to freakin' fast. And six floors is a lot of stairs.
(If the pills work, he can just write another Rx and there won't be any need for additional blood tests.)