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(read positively loathe)

...that women are just automatically supposed to be instinctively nurturing, and if we're not its because we've been abused in some way (usually sexual). For the record, nothing that's ever happened in my life to date could even remotely be described as sexual abuse. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. And I have never been in any way abused by any one in my family, including distant relations - there was an X husband who tried to make with the mental abuse, and he's pretty much an X for that exact reason.

Okay, where is this coming from? Two places actually.

Last night we had company, and somehow the conversation turned to kids, and they teased about bringing all the children they are related to to my house, and for the record they are related to a bunch of kids. Not a good idea, but they were teasing so I kept my mouth shut, but you put me in with more than one or two kids and as Dean (from Supernatural) always says "no way that'll end well."

However, before the conversation was over it was revealed that while they thought the man in my life wouldn't be good with all those kids they just assumed that I'd not only be thrilled to have the little sprogs around, but that I'd be good with them. At that point, I was forced to lay some things on the line, such as the fact that the man in my life is only a million times better with kids than I am.

I'm not good with kids, nor (as a general rule) do I like having them around. I'm a person that likes peace and quite, sometimes even background noise (like TV and radio) bugs the crap out of me. Still, if I'm warned in advance, one or even two kids won't generally bother me, but more than that and I'll end up yelling, and apparently I have my dads yelling voice that is prone to making kids (especially little ones) cry. It's not squeaky and loud, but low and apparently threatening. For the record, I don't actually hate kids I'm simply NOT good with them, and in larger groups they really get on my nerves. Of course, in large groups adults (especially women who've been drinking - they are noisy and loud, and you read the above about me liking peace and quite, right? The drunker men get, at least the ones in my life, they tend to get less noisy, but not so with the women) generally tend to get on my nerves, so to be fair it ain't just kids.

You see, years ago I used to work as a babysitter when I went to college, and the only reason I kept that job for so long was because while I was sorta the main watcher of them, I almost always had another adult helping me. If not for the second adult I would not have kept that job for as long as I did. And years after that I was roped into teaching Sunday school classes at Church, and the only reason I was left doing that for any length of time was because at that time they didn't have anyone else to do it.

However, I wasn't going to come to LJ ranting about that, because it doesn't matter - I mean I'm not one of those "death to children" people, I just ain't good with them. I'd rather stick with my furry little animals. But then I logged on to a website I visit and was linked to this, and once again smacked in the face with this bullshit idea that "the most obviously shocking aspect of the case was the fact that George was a woman, a mother, and had therefore behaved in every way contrary to the instinctive nurturing role with which it is generally assumed most women are born."


UGH! Just because I was born with a pair of ovaries does not make me some kind of instant super nurturer. I'm not, I am a very selfish very much me-me-me type person. Which is another reason I don't feel the need to get myself knocked up. The last thing I need or want is something in my life that is so totally and completely dependent on my ability to care for others. That, and I know the hell I put my parents through when I was younger, and they say pay-back is a beeyatch, and I am a beeyatch.

But that was a big reason even when I was younger I didn't date men who all ready had kids very long. I didn't always dump them the minute I learned they had kids, but it did make me less inclined to be in it for the long haul. Since I'm pretty sure I'd suck with a child from my own loins, I know I wouldn't be worth shit trying to deal with some other beeyatch's kids. The first time one of them yelled about how I wasn't their mother... Well, you read the part where I'm a beeyatch, right? So, I probably wouldn't handle that very well. Just saying.

There's also this idea that anyone involved in the BDSM thang (or just perverted in any way), especially women, were victims of abuse, so, yeah, this idea that abuse is the reason given when women end up being less than this absolute perfect ideal of womanhood is one of those things that punches my buttons. But apparently not as hard as this outdated idea that just because one is born with a pair of ovaries that they'll automatically be good with kids. Not true, not remotely true at all.

Okay, fine, since I don't have kids I can't say that for sure. I mean, who knows I might make a great mom, but I rather sincerely doubt that, and all things considered, since I know me best, I am probably the best person to make that determination, right?
 
 
 
 
 
 
I answered this on Terran. ;)
I saw and replied. ;)