Sounds like the wacky title of a movie, but alas I am a moron. A bit of back story - A couple weeks ago (three, I think) I got up one morning and saw what I thought was a dead cat in my back yard. Turns out it was a baby kitty and it was not dead, just resting. Now I never got up close and personal with these because momma cat (who wasn't much bigger than the kitties) would not come near me. However, I started feeding her a little bit, because she had at least two kitties to take care of, so I figured I'd cut a cat a break.

(They say if you feed a stray cat they never leave - pure bullshit! The last time I saw any sign of them was about a week ago - four days ago I realized that the food I was putting out was being eaten by bugs not cats, so I stopped putting it out.)

Anyway, yesterday (Wednesday) after work I stopped by a convenience store on my way home, and was compelled by a clerk to bring home a stray kitten. Apparently someone dumped the kitty off right after its eyes opened - seriously, both eyes are open, but one looks like it's just barely opened. So, despite common sense, I decided to bring kitty home with me. I really can't afford another pet, I really can't, but apparently I am going to try.

Several reasons, I suppose. A, I'm really a big softy. B, the kitty was clearly very young. C, I'm a big sucker for a purring cat, and this new kitty purrs more than my own, and that is saying something cause mine purrs all the time. D, the clerk said I was the first person kitty would go near.
I'm not sure I believe the last one, because kitty is (in my opinion) way to friendly.

Anyway, I brought kitty home with the intent to feed and water it, though I didn't realize how hungry kitty was at the time, then put it out back to run free with the wild ones that might or might not still be around. Even without them out back of my house is a much safer less close to a major highway kind of place.

That plan was altered slightly when my (adult) house cat reacted badly to the little kitty. The minute my cat saw the tiny kitty I was carrying she started hissing. To be fair, my cat is a bit of a ItchBay, so the wild kitties might have reacted better, but my cats reaction caused a change in plans.
(My cat is great with me and my dad, outside of us two she just doesn't care for other people (even family) or animals.)

I decided, especially after seeing that this kitties eyes were barely opened, to put the kitty on our somewhat enclosed front porch (an adult cat could get over the fence, but will be enough to contain the baby kitty for a few days - my new plan is to offer the kitty some protection until it is a bit bigger and therefore more able to take care of itself against other cats). I think that was a very good thing, because I didn't honestly realize exactly how close this kitty may have been to starving - I just thought he was small, but I could count bones yesterday, and today that is a little harder to do.

Anyway, yesterday I started to feed the kitty out of my hand, I quickly realized that was a bad idea because unlike my own cat and dog, kitty doesn't quite yet know the difference between food and my hand.

Oops, but I didn't get bitten yesterday. I got bitten today, which makes the whole thing more moronic because I knew better after yesterday. Anyway, the poor kitty was dirty, and while he had cleaned himself up a bit after I got him home, I realized after work today that a full bath was probably the only thing going to truly help. So, I brought him inside to the evil sink (just ask my cat and dog, both of which positively loathe that sink), and using the most gentle shampoo (which I have because my own cat is very sensitive) gave him a bath.

*sigh* You'd think giving a kitty a bath would be easier than giving a cat a bath, but all things considered it's honestly about the same. I.E. This little cat struggled even more than my own, I think, it's just that he was so little I was able to control him slightly (slightly) better.

After the bath is where it all went wrong, or to put it another way I turned into the biggest moron ever!

I wrapped kitty in a towel and took him back outside (where it was warmer), and I stupidly treated baby kitty like my own, and had a treat in my hand for him to eat while he dried. The funny thing is the kitty got the treat without getting my hand, but the treat was a little too much for kitty to tackle in one bite and some of it dropped.

Well, guess what happened? Go on, guess... *sigh* He mistook the back of my middle finger for the fallen treat. The good news is two-fold - one, he realized almost instantly that my finger was not the food. (The downside is that he still went after my fingers two more times by mistake, but after that first one I was on the ball.) Two, he only broke the skin enough to bleed in one place, though there is a bit of a scratch in another place.

The good news is that I did not panic, though I've always heard that cat bites are very very bad. I calmly placed the kitty on the porch, and came inside to wash and medicate my finger. After that I went back outside, because kitty wasn't dry, and even in those few short minutes he'd started to shiver, so I took him to my overly warm car for a quick dry, and all was fine.

Now I'm watching my finger and while it was an angry soft pink for a couple hours since I put the cheap mans Campho-Phenique on the place even the needle-mark puncture is looking a lot better. So hopefully everything is fine, and none of the horror stories I've heard about cat bites will come into play. Yes, I've heard some terrible stories about cat bites.