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Okay, I know I said to not expect this review very soon, but I ended up jotting down some thoughts as I was reading and so I decided to post them. Doing it this way probably means (that unless something really sticks out) I won't actually do an "official" review.

This time around there will be spoilers, lots and lots of spoilers, as well as lots of sympathy for lots of shippers. I think everybody got just a little screwed here on that score. So oddly enough, I don't actually talk much about the shipping.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
This is long, much longer than I was expecting.

Well, I never should have doubted the scanned book, or what was dubbed the Carpet Version. But I mean come on, Ginny can't think of a good birthday present, and is afraid that Harry is going to leave her, (yeah, even Ginny isn't secure in this ship, so why does Rowling expect we (the readers) would be?) so we get what I can only call a fanficy scene where Ginny tries to give herself to Harry so he won't forget her and run off with someone else.

I laughed when I saw that originally - I mean that had to be pure fanfic, even if the Harry/Ginny of Book Six was the real thing, it still had to end up better than that. Alas, no.

So, now lets get into my actual reading of the book.

We'll, start where the hints of betrayal start - way to mislead, Rowling, way to mislead.

Seriously, if I had not been spoiled, starting right here at this scene I would have really started speculating on who in Harry's inner circle was going to sell him out. Of course, I had been spoiled, but I still think part of me started looking in this direction as I'll get too later in this review. But as I read this scene I didn't start actively trying to decide who was betraying him, because I knew no one was. BAD ROWLING, no biscuit!

And, I guess we are supposed to see the Weasley's as damn awesome here, but it was rather stupid of them to be so insistant that Harry stay with them. I mean the world is going to hell and Harry (as well as those with him) would be number one targets.

Also, I admit that I am a bit miffed that we are getting so much grief from the characters over Mad-Eye (someone Harry, as well as WE, barely knew) dying as we did from Harry when Sirius died. Apparently, not only does Rowling loathe Harry/Hermione shippers, but she also deeply loathes the character of Sirius Black.

You know, I know Rowling wanted to kill the very idea of Harry/Hermione, because of the way she writes several things. Yet by the very same token, she actually leaves some pretty good Harry/Hermione subtext in, at least in two places. However, in two other places, she does seem to be trying to kill it completely.

Which is all the proof I really need to know that all the slashy stuff (which really gets my fellow slashers going) of past books was a complete and total accident from Rowling. If she really doesn't understand that she (at times) writes Harry/Hermione as oh-so-very shippy, I don't think she realizes (at all) that she's done the same thing for Harry and Draco, or Harry and Voldemort, or... Well, you get the idea, right?

Now lets talk about Harry/Luna - I know some of my fellow shippers are thrilled, because even though H/L didn't happen that they feel Luna was all over the story and much more important than the person Harry actually ended up with (Ginny). I disagree. Because I do believe that Rowling did take time out of her busy Harry/Hermione bashing to throw a few rocks in our direction. And from my point of view, Luna was not really in the book much more than Ginny either. Why Rowling insisted the movies include Luna I'll never know (now), because all her stuff from Book Five and Six didn't really need to happen, apparently. And to get anal - The Quibbler and her fucking father are more important than Luna is. Ravenclaw will have its day, my ass! Again, I don't understand why she thinks she wrote Ravenclaw having its day in this book.

"At least there were no radishes dangling from her ears." Sure while it is noted before that the general impression Harry has of Luna is pleasant, Rowling just had to have Harry throw that little snide comment out at the end of it! Since when is it a crime to be unique (different)? Apparently, despite some of the other things Rowling wrote, she really does feel being different is a high crime.

Or maybe Rowling simply threw that out to remind us that we should all be worshipping at the feet of the Weasley Womb. Powerful Ginny, my ass! What the hell was Rowling talking about? I admit I dreaded Book Seven and PowerfulGinny, because I knew it would be a continuity error since Ginny hadn't been powerful in the books. And yet I certainly expected more than we got. But, hey, at least Ginny isn't unique or different, which is, of course, a high crime to Rowling. Actually PowerfulGinny isn't the only thing Rowling said we'd see, that we ended up not seeing, but given how hard Rowling has been trying to sell Ginny (Book Six/IoD) I'm actually surprised we didn't get this one.

*snort* You know, I'm glad (yes, I mean this, really mean it) that Rowling stayed the hell away from my (het) ships. Cause she can't even write the one she clearly loves (Harry/Ginny) worth shit, I'm glad she didn't try to touch those she didn't love, except to shoot arrors and/or throw stones.

Also, way to fuck Krum. Good hustle, Rowling, pisses me off, but good hustle!

Wait! Here's another one of those errors which kept me believing "Carpet Book" was a fake! Hermione memory charms her parents to not only move away and forget who they are but to completely forget they have a child. But here a scant few pages later we have Hermione saying that she's never done a memory charm before. Oops. Apparently, not only does Rowling not read her past books, she can't even be bothered to read past chapters of the book she's currently writing.

I'm not even going to get into Hermione's character - CanonHermione is dead to me, and she actually died sometime in Book Five and was then replaced with PodHermione who will live forever and have many many babies with Ronald!

Sadly, I held out longer than I should have (almost three days) when it come to accepting the Carpet Book was real. But oddly enough, while I've never thought Rowling was worth all the praise she was getting, apparently I still thought she was better than this steaming pile. Well, actually the book wasn't all bad, I do have a few good things to say about it...

Such as this little shinning light in the darkness - Harry's finally waking to the truth of Dumbledore. I know, it won't last long, somehow (despite the spoilers I know) Harry will end up believing Dumbledore again. No, I really don't know if that happens, just feel sure it will. But at least I can take me some pleasure while it lasts.

Another bright spot - apparently, not all purebloods were completely shitty. No matter what else they did or didn't do, apparently the Blacks were kind to House-elves. I find myself shocked, to be honest, that Rowling actually wrote this, because it is pretty good.

Still was a bit disappointed that Harry didn't kill Kreacher the moment he saw him - cheap ass Gollum wannabe, he is - but the above kinda makes up for the lack of deadKreacher.

Okay, I really didn't realize I wrote so much about ships and shippers, but I felt the need to take a moment and express sympathy to not only the losing shippers, but also to the so-called winning shippers. We all got screwed!

*sigh* I didn't (and don't) even like Remus/Tonks, but I can't help but want to hug each and every R/T shipper out there right now. There's also the Neville/Luna shippers, never really cared much for this pairing either, though I may have liked it slightly better than Remus/Tonks.

But I'm in shock that Rowling even bothered to sink Neville/Luna... After reading the book all the way through, the only reason I can think for her to have sunk this was because she wanted to make it clear that LoonyLuna is so naughtily unique that she needs to make it absolutely clear that Luna does not deserve anyone. Or maybe (in my more hopeful moments) she made a mistake and meant not to sink Neville/Luna, but Harry/Luna. Honestly, after this, I will never understand why she choose to sink N/L and leave H/L in the waters.

Anyway, just a note that this is the last I'll say (in this review) about Remus/Tonks (as a couple) or Neville/Luna, because there's just no sense in pouring salt in open wounds - I just can't bring myself to be that cruel... Well, I could, and am, being that cruel to Rowling, but it is the shippers I'm not wanting to be cruel to here, because most of them truly believe in Rowling, so I expect they are more disappointed than I am.

But I will say something about Remus here that takes me back to the beginning of this review. Even though I knew better, there was a moment or two while Remus was with the Trio that I started to suspect that Remus would betray them. For a few moments there he was just acting so unlike Remus that it seemed obvious he was going to betray them. I think, in the end, that would have been a better outcome for Remus... But, oh well.

Interlude: Rowling borrowed (and heavily at that) from Tolkien and Lord of the Rings. No, don't bother to try and tell me otherwise, I've suspected this from the moment I saw/read Lord of the Rings (I actually read Rowling first) and after Book Seven you'll never convince me that this is not the case, so don't bother. She took an awesome series and ran with it - alas she didn't do it better. Harry Potter will always be the kiddy version of Lord of the Rings, and not even a good kiddy version.

Ah, and here we are with another flint! Harry's cloak, which we are now being told is super awesome, with all kinds of special powers. Ooops. No one can see through it - WRONG! Of course, since Mad-Eye and Dumbledore are dead it is possible no one currently alive can see through it. But the point Rowling was trying to make here is that no one EVER could see through it. Ooops!

Another good, for me. Is the hints that Godric Gryffindor might not have been the fine upstanding fellow that everyone believed he was. YAY!

Another flint: Bellatrix couldn't possibly still have the wand that tortured the Longbottoms. At least not logically going by what we know, but in the world according to Rowling it is certainly possible. But haven't we been shown that when someone is arrested and tossed in Azkaban that their wand is snapped? I make that a question cause maybe they only (sic) break wands when one is expelled from Hogwarts, but when one goes to prison their wand is (for some dumbass reason) saved. When the reverse would actually make a bit more sense.

Okay, now here we go - my rant is really going to get on now!

Harry Potter sucks - the character, not the series is what I'm speaking of here. The book has been showing me this since the beginning, but I managed to overlook it - well, I can do that no longer.


Okay, picture - at the end of Book Six, Snape totally owns Harry's ass. Seeing this, we all (I think) rather logically assumed Rowling knew was an issue. I.E. If Harry couldn't take Snape, how could anyone believe he was ready for Voldemort?

I freely admit that I'd always had my doubts about Rowling knowing/realizing how badly Book Six sucked all around - but she wrote, in our face, Snape owning Harry's ass - so I mean she had to know Harry was so NOT ready. What has brought this on? Glad you asked.

Harry's rather stupid childish idiotic (I could go on) plan to screw Griphook over. Geez, he could have just told Griphook that they needed the sword just a little while longer (otherwise Voldemort would NOT be destroyed) and as an added bonus not only offered to give the sword back, but also pay for the remaining time it was out of Griphooks hands. Knowing Goblins, I think he would have went for that, and it would have certainly been better than planning to lie and cheat - just proving to Goblins that Wizards ain't worth shit!

You know in addition to the above and all the dark curses Harry's throwing around in this book at just about everyone - how is it that in the epilogue Harry isn't the new Dark Lord? Writers fiat, I know, but still sucks anyway. Besides Dark Lord Harry would have been better than the crap we did get in the epilogue. Not only did we not get closure for anyone outside the trio (except Ginny since she married into the trio), she just had to take one last dig at Draco - he's losing his hair, which I know is just a final shot to all us Draco-lovers out there. Seriously we see Draco, wife, and son... The son gets named (which might have been better if he hadn't), but in the end we have no idea who Draco married (so Draco/Pansy shippers aren't even canon), and Neville gets a token mention, and that it LITERALLY all we get in the last bit which promised closure! Aside from the Potter/Weasley brats, sucky names just made the whole thing even more cringeworthy than it might have otherwise been.
Probably needless to say, but I'll never read that epilogue again!

Ah, and even more of stupid Harry - mike_smith is going to have a field day, and I can't wait! Super Dumbass Three, here we come!

"They set up that spell to tell them we'd come. I reckon they've done something to keep us here, trap us." - Harry

DUH! You don't fuckin' say! Were you not just in Voldemort's head where he basically told you this? I know I read the scene, but apparently Harry wasn't really there for it, so why did Rowling write it? Honestly, if Harry was going to forget it two seconds later (literally) why bother?

And now we come to a scene I have been dreading since Percy broke away from his family books ago. He comes crawling back to them now having been throughly spanked for not realizing that the sun shines out of the Weasley's collective asses! They treated him like shit, NOT the other way around, and yet he is the one who must come crawling back to them. Bullshit! But, hey, at least Rowling refrained from killing him, which I really thought she'd do just to drive her point completely home. Instead she kills Fred, which honestly didn't bother me as much as I expected it would... Probably because by the time she killed him, I already knew that Potter canon ended for me with Book Four. Anyway, moving on...

Not quite, because I really think Rowling writing Percy come crawling back is the biggest dissappointment for me in this whole steaming pile.

(*$##(&%$()&#$)%$ - Even knowing this, I'd be hoping against hope that the person scanning the following had FUBARed and this wouldn't actually be in the book. Parseltongue isn't really a special thing after all - so why has everyone wasted so much time pretending it is? Who will ever know. All you have to do is make hissing noises and you are a Parselmouth. GAH! And we're now moving to completely knew levels of suck.

Crabbe and Goyle, not really surprisingly (but disappointingly none the less), really are stupid, or at least were - Rest in Peace, Crabbe - you escaped! Lucky you. I know I expected it, could see it coming, but part of me had always hoped that we'd see that Crabbe and Goyle were really very clever and they just played dumb on TV, so to speak.

But at least there was some good slashy Harry/Draco stuff going on which did delight me. Straight, my ass. Oddly enough I think Draco is probably straighter than Harry. But since the slashy goodness didn't last long, lets move on.

Because now I'm scared - we're at the part where one of my ships is truly honestly about to be confirmed. Hold me! Seriously, after the mess Rowling is making with the other ships, I don't know if I want to read on or not. After I read this will I like even the idea of Severus/Lily anymore? I am worried.

So worried am I about the above that I can't even get that upset about Snape being an all around good guy. It bugs me, but that reveal is being completely overshadowed by my fears that Rowling is going to completely screw up a pairing I actually like.

On the other hand, some of my darker visions of Dumbledore ARE proving true. This is really a surprise. So score one for Rowling, she truly had me fooled here, because I honestly never believed she'd do it!

Still not sure what to make of S/L yet.
Even this morning while typing this up for posting, I'm still not sure how I feel... It played out almost exactly as I suspected it would (except for the bloody Snape is really good part, even though after Movie Three I even suspected good!Snape would happen), so I feel good that I completely called (and remained completely certain) of at least one thing.

Weird though - one of the things which I believed with all my heart (Evil!Dumbledore) was one thing I never in a million years dreamed would be confirmed canon... I mean I was positive, as in no doubts what so ever that Rowling would never write Evil!Dumbledore - I actually had more hope that Harry and Ginny wouldn't get back together in Book Seven than I did about Evil!Dumbledore.
Even though I loved all the theories, I always kinda suspected that Book Six was a what you see is what you get kind of thing and (despite hopes) there really wasn't anything going on under the surface. But I felt here, unlike with Evil!Dumbledore, there was enough hints that all was not well with H/G to believe maybe there would be a big reveal here, with Dumbledore I had no such hope, so naturally that is the thing that does happen.

Hey! How did Neville get the sword back? A flint I assume, but I believe (even though I don't really LOVE Neville) I'll imagine that Neville did what Harry failed to do - he asked Griphook nicely and offered to pay for its use and that as soon as the battle was over Neville would give the sword back. Go NEVILLE!

You know, despite being suprised (by Evil!Dumbledore) I still want to know what Jim Dale found surprising about the ending of Book Seven, cause Evil!Dumbledore was revealed before the ending. Perhaps he was merely surprised by how bad it was. I know I was surprised about that, despite the fact that I never really allowed myself to get completely hopeful in the first place. Well, that's not true, Movie Five restored a great deal of hopes for me - so much so now I want to know why Rowling allowed things to play out on screen in the movie as did, because it just doesn't flow with her book ending.

Okay, I'll admit that it wasn't all bad, I actually liked the Evil!Harry/Evil!Hermione scene, possibly just cause that is the one (only) thing I'm now looking forward to seeing in the future movies - so naturally it will be cut. (Honestly, any H/L shipper out there still expecting Harry and Luna will have their date in Movie Six is delusional. The movies aren't going to waste time with that pointless scene because they will be working their collective asses off to set-up Harry/Ginny.) I mean I love DarkHarry and flirt (often) with the idea of DarkHermione and even outside of VoldeyVision they were both quite dark and questionable throughout the novel. As mentioned Harry throwing out dark curses right and left, but Hermione was also going around mind-raping people right and left... Neither were stellar models of upstanding behavior here.

And despite the fact that I feel introducing the three magical objects was just stupid (it was, I think, an unnecessary complication), I didn't completely hate the final Harry/Voldemort showdown, and despite the fact that I was sure Rowling would kill all the Malfoy's, or at least both Lucius and Draco (just as a final fuck you to us fans of them) she did surprise me by letting all three live. YAY!

So while I think the overall novel sucks, there are bits and pieces along the way that aren't terrible.

Obviously there is much more that I could have complimented or bashed along the way, but I decided to more in depthly tackle the points I hadn't seen other people making. Knowing my luck, by the time I get this up, other people will have no doubt covered all these (in detail), but at the time I read and wrote this I hadn't seen many of these points brought out already about the book.

So that's it - Harry Potter is offically over. I'm actually glad, I know many people were both eager and dreading the moment, but personally I was just eager. As long as there is more canon to come, I do tend to get tied up in that. But now that it is over I can now completely allow myself to be carried away by fanon and no longer do I have to wonder what Rowling might or might not do in regards to canon. So now that it is over, I can either use or ignore, or use and ignore. I'M FREE!
Honestly, any H/L shipper out there still expecting Harry and Luna will have their date in Movie Six is delusional. The movies aren't going to waste time with that pointless scene because they will be working their collective asses off to set-up Harry/Ginny.

I do. And yes, dearie, don't worry, I know I am delusional. But I don't have to worry about the sixth movie, if they're going to give Luna's lines to Ginny, I WILL NOT WATCH the movies. :D
Well, I didn't mean that to come off as harsh as it looks, but the fact is I was looking very forward to seeing how the movie folks would do their date, especially if they kept Harry dating Ginny in as well. (Though *points and laughs at self* I was sort of expecting them to drop Harry/Ginny, because after the way Movie Five played out I just couldn't believe Harry/Ginny was Rowling's final answer.)

I mean I wasn't looking forward to setting through Dan and Bonnie overacting it anyway, because Harry and Ginny extremely overact it in the book (which is why so many believed it was false), but thankfully Harry had subtle scene's with a girl in the book and that girl was one he also had a date with...

But I realized as I was reading the book - I started to realize that every interaction Harry and Luna had would have to go to Harry and Ginny in the last two movies - it is the only way things will work, otherwise Harry and Ginny won't work any better onscreen than it did in print. If they keep Luna's stuff in and still have Harry "dating" Ginny... Well, even more than in the books it would smack one in the face just how much Ginny isn't the right girl for him.

And despite the fact that I wasn't thrilled (or as thrilled with other H/L shippers) with all the Book Seven interaction they had... Even here, they'll have to give Luna's stuff to Ginny. Luna knows him even when he's not himself, she helps him with a problem...

Ginny herself is little more than decoration in Book Seven, and not even around being decoration very damn much. There's just no way the movies can leave Luna's stuff to Luna, I mean not unless A.R.G.H. is right and the people in charge of the writing/etcs. believe as we do. Then I could see them leaving Luna's stuff to Luna, and if that is the case, then yes I'll probably watch the last two movies even if they do follow Rowling and have Harry end up with Ginny inspite of everything.

Sadly, though, I don't know why they bothered casting a Luna for the movies now. The movie people were right in this case and Rowling was wrong. As much as I love Luna and am very glad to see a visual Luna - having Luna just complicated things unnecessarily. Because now that they've cast her, they'll probably have to do something with her in the next two movies. But, I think, for us, instead of getting Luna goodness in the following movies we will be subjected to a Ginny/Cho catfight, while that Loony girl stands in the back just watching.

Oh well, I knew as I was reading Book Seven I was done with the movies anyway.