They got the title of this episode WAY wrong - it shoulda been "Dean finally says the the things the audience wants him to say to Sam and Garth, except before the episode started we didn't know we wanted him to say those things to Garth." But that's a wee bit long, especially when you also consider that I think based on ~things~ we may have been supposed to come away thinking Dean was being a jackass here, but he wasn't so...

Supernatural 8x06 Southern Comfort

And the worst thing about this episode wasn't really anything Dean or Sam related, but Garth. *sigh* Here's the thing I was one of the few who didn't HATE the stupid puppet stuff last season, because honestly kids do respond to crap like that, but this episode... NO! Just f'in NO! Damn, that means I agree with Dean yet again. *sigh* But then the episode pissed me off further by trying to have Garth justify his bullshit. UGH! I mean, come on, Show, Bobby's dead can we please just leave him that way - we certainly do NOT need someone coming along and picking up his damn personality. Now I'll grant that it does make sense that someone would probably have to come along and try to do the job he did re: hunting, but as I say we do not need them running around acting like they're possessed by ghost!Bobby.

So, at current count this season has not just made me dislike Carver (because of his version of Sam), but also Kevin and now Garth. You know I was sorta regretting this show wasn't bringing back some of the more likeable guest stars this season, but all things considered I'm now glad they're leaving the more likeable guest stars out of this. And, okay, maybe this episode didn't completely make me hate Garth, but it did make me never again want them to bring him back either.

The only good thing I can really say about this episode is that at least it was a bit bloody, and Dean and Sam are still hot. Well, that and the fact that there's still nothing so far that says Amelia isn't a figment of Sam's broken mind, or that she's a mad scientist who made it her life's mission (or maybe she was just momentarily bored) to fix Sam. But the more this drags on the less hope I have for that, especially since as of right now there's still no SPOILERS suggesting that there might be more going on than meets the eye, and I can't believe they wouldn't at least be hinting at something by this point if there was something there to hint at. So, I guess I gotta start making my own fun, and what fun it shall be.
(Or at least I think so, because kids I'll admit I was generally doing other things while those boring flash-back scene's aired)

So with that in mind little children come with me on a magical journey where I explain the secrets of the universe, or you know say "screw it" and stop trying to review this show as though it's something what should be taken seriously, because I just can't do it anymore.

You'd think I'd at least like the fact that Dean finally expressed some of his anger over Sam being written as a doodie-head this season (and I actually did). Cause I admit that I wouldn't mind having Jeremy Carver before me just to ask (with extreme prejudice) if he really thinks Sam is in character and totally makes the sense. *sigh* I've been reading too much from a certain gossip site - I can admit that, but it started because I'm honestly not feeling that Sam is anything other than annoyed that Dean came back from the Big P and killed his (Sam's) buzz. And let's face it at least the people on that site can still make me feel that there is love there, and that all my problems with the show stem from dastardly evil schemes from evil people who just cannot stand the mere thought that someone out here somewhere might be shipping something. What can I say? That's where I am now - the show has gotten so bad that I've decided the answer is to start free-basing Dean and Sam any way I can, because the show just isn't giving me feelings of love and caring between Dean and Sam and apparently I need that for my enjoyment of the show. But nooo the show has forced me in the dark where I free-base Dean/Sam while listening to Rock You Like A Hurricane.

But then sometimes it is hard, because the people on that site keep calling Dean and Sam Jensen and Jared, not to mention a few others, but then I had a brain fart and realized that The French Mistake was the clue. They are using codenames and now it all makes sense... Well, except for two names that often come up as villains who keep getting in the way of Dean and Sam's hot gay incest adventures that they've codenamed Elton and Gumby (and some famewhore named Misha, but I'm pretty sure he died during that adventure so obviously he can't be a threat anymore unless there is a ghost of Misha floating around out there somewhere still whoring for his fame, which since this show is called As the Supernatural Turns it's certainly possibly (fun side fact for those who hate him - my spellcheck kept suggesting that I meant to type Mishap everytime I typed Misha). Don't look at me that way, it was either that or Days of Our Supernatural Lives but I am lazy so I went with the shorter one.)... Anyway, when I realized all this was just a way they could talk on the side about the show without drawing PTB attention (hey, they have their theories and I have mine) I realized that Elton is so obviously a codename for Benny (the one Dean was forced to marry by ~someone~) and Gumby is the codename for Cass it all started to make sense. I know in that episode they said "Jared" was married to Gen, but come on! It was totally clear that "Gen" was all about the Misha. Honestly, I don't understand why so many people missed that.
(So you see, the story of Dean and Sam really does have it all - Male pregnancy (ninja's apparently made Sam impregnate his poor wife Cass - and it seems the Ninja's was hired by someone named Gomez, but more on that in a bit. At first I just thought it happened because they just you know loved each other and expressed their love without protection. But that's not what happened at all. You see there's apparently a world-wide conspiracy lead by this Gomez person to keep Dean and Sam apart. And here I was blaming the whole thing on Singer and Carver, but apparently not, though (obviously) they are part of the problem. And now it seems Dean's evil wife (Elton aka Benny) is an evil shrew who keeps blackmailing Dean because he has ~secrets from his family~ though now that Sam knows about Benny I'd have thought that was over, but then I heard SPOILERS that there was some affair or something Dean had on the side with Cass - possibly during summer vacation, which totally fits since that's where Dean met and married Benny, so clearly he'd know, right. And if Benny still has black-mail material I'd say there's something to that, though it's always possible there is some other epic surprise coming - I can't wait. Can you?)

What I couldn't figure out is why this group of fans felt they couldn't express themselves or their feelings clearly and openly, because wouldn't the PTB love having fans no matter what theories those fans had, because more fans equals more attention, right? Well, apparently there's someone behind the scenes named Gomez who's apparently made it their life's mission to make everyone hate Sam, and loathes fictional incest with a fine burning hatred, and has maybe done something (behavior modification, perhaps?) to Carver, though I think Singer's been happily in on this dastardly plot forever... Anyway, clearly they decided the old Supernatural was way too incest friendly and that needed to be stopped and so As the Supernatural Turns was born.

Now at first I was misled, because they made it seem like Gomez was a female which made me think Jeremy had encountered his own magical vagina, but as I've said repeatedly magical vagina just doesn't explain everything - WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE LISTEN? So, it took awhile but I finally heeded my own advice and figured out that the Gomez in question is actually Gomez Addams who has decided (for some reason, but I think I've figured that out, as well) that there will be NO hot brother on brother love on his watch? Why? Good question, because Gomez Addams clearly has no interest in what is considered proper behavior, but then I realized that Gomez was jealous because what he and Fester have cannot even come close to what Dean and Sam have. Well that and he loves misery and misery loves company, so he's just trying to make everyone unhappy together.

"Unhappy, darling?"


Which begs the question WHERE IS TISH? Seriously, Dean and Sam and those friendly to the cause need to embark on quest to find Tish, because if there is anything on the planet that can keep Gomez distracted from his dastardly evil schemes it's Tish, and literally all she'd have to do to save the day would be stand around speaking French which would render Gomez totally unable to be bothered by two fictional brothers getting it on in the back of their classic car. And Tish - Well, now there's a magical vagina that even I can believe in, though I suspect rather than healing her's probably has teeth and eats people, but magical is magical, right? Either way it's certainly one more in-line with the overall themes of the show, or at least the show as it stood before this season.

But I suppose you probably wish I'd make a comment or two about the episode itself rather than babbling on about what I believe the overall theme of the season is (or at least should be), right?

Well, as you may have guessed I honestly don't have much to say about the episode itself, which might seem more than a little strange since it wasn't a horrible episode. The problem really is that while it wasn't an atrocity it wasn't f'in golden either, and I have almost no investment in the characters of Dean and Sam as they've been drawn so far this season, so I figured the only way to hold what little interest I still have is to "write" my own story, and now having done that I admit I do feel better. But seriously isn't what I've come up with here much better than watching (and trying to figure out) who (or what) replaced Dean and Sam with pod-people and also once again shoved the ghost of Bobby into the show. Though maybe (as I said) it's not all Carver's fault, because I do think Singer bears some (lots) of the blame for this. Hell, at this point even if my little fanfic is all wrong I've found myself honestly hoping that the site I keep mentioning here isn't actually using codenames and everything they say is real and happening, because I want to feel the love and the show just ain't doing that for me anymore and so at this point I'd accept anything even the love between actors.

Anyway, as I said this episode wasn't totally awful, at least not until they let Sam have a say at the end in his scene with Dean (more in a moment), but even that wasn't completely the problem because the anvils of a Benny betrayal was almost as bad because there is literally no surprise left for when Benny (GASP) betrays Dean. There was, of course, other anvils, but to be fair I can't decide if those apply to Dean/Benny or Dean/Sam, and I think my confusion is logical, because those other anvils was all about brothers betraying each other, and while the show bashes us over the head about how much of an awesome brother Benny is and how shitty a brother Sam is there is literally no tension/contention between Dean and Benny - no all the tension/contention is between Dean and Sam. Though really I've got Shows number this season, so I know those anvils cannot possibly relate to Dean and Sam, so I realize that means tension/contention between Dean and Benny is coming soon, or hell maybe it somehow relates to Cass, except you know for the fact that Dean seems at least half as pissed over Cass as he is Sam - so it's all Benny.

Or maybe because the title lead me to believe this was going to be a Benny episode and then I discovered it was sadly lacking with the Benny, but had an over-abundance of Garth with his unneeded/unwanted Bobby homages.

Show, Bobby's dead - do not go gravedigging! Or most likely the fact that I suspect this episode was supposed to somehow justify this bullshit Carver is writing for Sam this season, because that ending just made me think that we (the audience) was supposed to side with Sam or at least realize that for some batcrazy reason we was supposed to see that Sam has been right all along, but since he really hasn't, and apparently really did leave his brother (who before this season he loved more than anything) in the Big P I don't see how Carver thinks this makes Sam right - it doesn't. It still makes Sam a prick that's shoved his own head so far up his ass he can see out of his own mouth.

So, really, Show, I'm-a still gonna need more of an answer than magic pussy, especially since while if you drink every time you try to work out the plot it might after the first half case start making sense that the scent of a woman would somehow be enough to stop Sam from caring about Dean, but it's really not enough to explain Sam totally forgetting (entirely I might add) his entire freakin' history. Nor is it enough to explain why Mister Brain couldn't seem to figure out that Dean wasn't dead, because the way they've been in the past I think Sam would want nothing short of full confirmation that Dean was totes dead since clearly there wasn't a body left behind. But who cares right? Clearly no one involved with the show thinks this is in any way screwy. And I know that logically if they don't care why should I, but I have all these ~feelings~ based on my past experiences with this show that I apparently just cannot write off just because those involved with the show no longer give a fuck.

*sigh* Next week may pull me out of As the Supernatural Turns and back into Supernatural - We'll see, because at this point I have my doubts. On the other hand, people have griped at me for spelling a certain character's name wrong all these years - EAT ME, ItchesBay! Because if you saw the promo then you saw full on confirmation that I have been spelling his name correctly all these years and 'tis you who've been spelling it wrong! HeHe. That was enough that I decided to give Carver a point or two, because I admit I've gotten annoyed a few times over the years at being corrected on that spelling when I knew I was right. So, Carver enjoy your points while they last.