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How thick can one be? Apparently very damn thick. *sigh* That's not fair of me and I know it. It's just... Well, did you read this entry? Anyway, I feel like I gave this guy a fair chance, but I'm just not interested, and on October 10th I told him this, granted I tried to be nice and not awful. Basically I told him he needed to back off (he was starting to come around all the time, and that was just annoying). But I even went futher than that and told him that I just wasn't interested in having a sexual relationship at this point in my life.

Is there anyone who would honestly misunderstand that? Well, I thought he got it, because after that little conversation I saw hide nor hair of him for eleven days. So, naturally I thought I'd finally gotten my total lack of interest across. And I kinda put it all out of my mind - big mistake!

Because guess what happens on the 22nd? If you said "he showed up again," you are correct. *sigh* We've clearly been on totally different pages since the beginning of this thing. I'll admit part of this is probably my fault, I told you about our "date" on the sixth, right? Well, I confess that I probably sent at least one or two mixed signals that night. Why? Well, he caught me completely off guard to be perfectly honest. When I first saw him on the fourth I made the mistake, though in fairness there was no way I could have known it was a mistake at that point, of treating him like an old friend. One who I hadn't seen in a long time and was honestly glad to see again.

And that was as far as things went on my part. Even when I agreed to our "date" I wasn't actually agreeing to a date. Seriously, as far as I was concerned it was a get together with an old friend, not a date. However, I do admit that I made a few mistakes that night... Part of the reason for those were that once I realized he was interested, I felt like I should give him a fair chance. Don't ask me why and all we did was kiss once. Admittedly he did try for more after the first one, but I did avoid the rest some which were very very obvious, I mean they had to be - they required me to actually move (jump) away. But that was when I tried to explain that I wasn't interested in a romantic type relationship.

But since I did allow the one kiss, I know that was a mistake, because I should have realized by that point allowing even one kiss would say something to him that I did not mean. Which is probably what lead to the late night "bootie call" I bitched about in the linked entry.

Well, as I said, I thought I'd finally gotten us on the same page on the 10th when I told him to back off and that I just wasn't interested. But then he shows up again... And can I just take a moment to mention that he has the WORST timing ever! No, I mean that, for some reason I was so sick at my stomache Sunday afternoon and evening that by the time he showed up I barely had the energy to hold my head up let alone deal with him as I should have.

Anyway, I did my best to express my lack of interest yet again. Mostly this time by just not talking. Of course he did try to hold my hand and hug me. The hug thing happened as he was leaving and since I was sick being on my feet meant I was a tad unstable so he did snag a quick hug. Damn it! But I did make (or thought I did) a point of pulling away.

And when he tried to snag ye old goodnight kiss my mouth was just too fast for him. He seemed to be picking up on things, so I was pleased. Because at that point I really wasn't sure what else I could do without bringing out the bitch.

So I proceeded to show him out. But before he left, my thoughts were disabused, because he turned around and started babbling about being ready to take our "relationship" to the next level. WTF? We don't have a freakin' first level! Honestly, I know there are men friended on this journal. So, I want to know how you'd react if someone told you to A back off and B expanded on that by being told that the object of your lust was just not interested? Those two things along with all the non-verbal clues - I mean are men really dense enough that when a women turns away or makes a big production of not being there to kiss that you really wouldn't pick up on that? Seriously? Is my boy just really really dense, or just really really hopeful that if he pushes hard enough he'll change my mind?

Anyway, I have a speech prepped for the next time I see him. Not a large speech mind you, just something to keep in my head so that the next time I see him (sick or well) I will be able to focus on the whole "we are JUST friends!" information that I plan to make crystal clear. Which he really needs to get through his thick skull before I decide even being just friends is too much for me and I have to bring out the BitchMistress. Once I bring her out, I'm certain remaining friends would be impossible.

I think he might actually suspect (though I'm probably wrong and he's just been too busy to come by again) that I plan to make my a good stand next time we meet, because the other night I did see his truck go by the house, but he didn't stop. Maybe he thinks that if he lets enough time pass I will once again push all this to the back of my mind and just mystically forget. Which is unlikely, because I will keep this in my thoughts for a long long time - he'd have to wait almost a year, and somehow I don't see him being able to wait that long to try again.

Still haven't got any work done on Unexpected American Vacation - I think the lack of feedback for Chapter Three really affected me, because I've allowed myself to be distracted from working on it by reading several Star Wars fanfics.
I am a man, on your Lj and I would have gotten the hint first time ;)

I'm stubborn etc but not dense.. ;)

Well, like I said in the other entry, I know I sometimes joke about men being dense and all, but I really honestly don't believe it. So, I guess he gets filed under "one in every bunch."

Maybe it's me. Seriously, for the past three years I've seemed to attract the weirdest men. A few examples: A man married man who thought me bringing in my PC for repairs meant I wanted to have a hot steamy affair with him. JOY! Incidentally, I have a new PC repairman. A man who thought a quickie in a hospital elevator was just what the doctor ordered. This one actually scared me a bit because at one point I thought he was going to throw me in a closet and do me anyway. And now this!

*accepts hugs and hugs back*
Yes, I still plan to hug friends, because most people know a hug is just a hug. :p

Lets see if I can get this reply through - this will be the third try.
There's being stubborn or persistant and then there is dense. In this guy's case, he makes a blackhole look like a featherweight. I would've picked up on it the first time let alone the second, third, fourth, etc. and long since gotten the idea if I was him.
Well, I am perfectly happy to accept my share of the blame for missteps during the "date." I made them, intentional or not - I know I mixed signals. So, I can be understanding about the misunderstanding on the first night/time. But what really grinds my gears if that I KNOW I have NOT sent mixed signals since that night - I know this because I've been very careful about it!

*sigh* I think part of the problem - for him, not me - is that I don't believe he actually listens when I'm speaking. Looking back there have been some clues that he simply hears what he wants and disregards the rest of what comes out of my mouth. Which might explain why my non-talking verbal clues of Sunday seem (since I made that entry he's been by the house at least once more and hasn't stopped - so that's twice since Sunday) to be more effective than all the damn talking I've done.

Still don't want to get overly hopeful because while Sunday was almost all non-verbal - it isn't like it is the first time that those big/small non-verbal clues have been used.

Actually, I was beginning to think (maybe giving more credit than is deserved again) that he simply believed if he kept pushing my mind would change and we'd fall into bed all happily ever after.
To be fair, that isn't the extent of what he wants/wanted from a relationship with me. Because I actually listen and see I know exactly what he wants/wanted from me, and the truly sad thing is that even if I wanted him as much as he wants me - there are still things that would keep a relationship from working out between us. A few small things that could probably be worked around, but one big honkin' major thing that simply cannot be.
Man is either really dense, or he's so infatuated with you that he cannot think straight.

In either case, he needs a swift kick in the head. (Or a throat punch if he doesn't get the clue)

PS: Yay to random friends adding me... somehow lol
I think it is the latter, or maybe I just don't want to believe someone is that dense.

*grin* Now if I could just somehow get MisterRufus and starbys to add me I'd have all my old friends (that I could find, anyway) on my flist.