So, after pretty much having a full mental break-down Saturday night (all hope was lost, etcs. - there was also whiskey involved; see note at end of post) then last night I realized that weirdly enough thanks to the full time hours I suffered at my previous job I can money-wise last around a month before going down like a dino.

What am I babbling about? Well, see my previous entry for more info.

Now you'd think my having just spent around two months working full time shoulda meant I'd have a few months cushion, but most of my full time money was going to pay off debts/people who helped me stay a-float when I spent nearly five months umemployed last year. The good news is I had pretty much caught up with that - the downside is that if I don't get a new job soon (like now, please) I will have to dig into the dogs surgery money to hold my ass up a month, and I don't have that much doggie money saved up anyway.

However, despite my thoughts a few nights ago, I am now thinking perhaps all hope is not in fact lost, because early this morning I got a call for a job interview (tomorrow) from the new place. Of course, I had a raging case of dry mouth during that call which probably didn't reflect well on me. *sigh* However, the interview is late enough in the day tomorrow that I'll have time to drink plenty of water beforehand (so dry mouth shouldn't be an issue), so hopefully I will dazzle. Wish me luck.

PS - Then later the mail came, and the job where I worked only one day did (as they said) send me a check for that day worked - I did wonder all things considered, but every little bit helps at the moment.

But also around all the other stuff I've managed to do some cleaning - I know sometimes it seems like I'm always cleaning, but during the increased hours at the new job and the pain that had me in I had seriously let a few rooms in my house very seriously go to hell. Seriously, I'm a bit of a pack-rat anyway, and then add in not feeling like even walking to the bathroom and suddenly my room especially looked like that of a level ten hoarder.

Yeah, even after two days (of admittedly not full on cleaning) the room looks better but it's still bad. Still to keep from going all depressed again (because I actually think the mess also played a part because it was finally starting to get messy enough to actually piss me off) I'm going to keep after the cleaning until I either start working somewhere again (and the possibility of the pain returning) or until I get it clean, but I'm obviously actually hoping for a job, because if the hours aren't too bad I can still continue cleaning around working.

So, over a decade ago I gave up all hard liquor, because lets just say whiskey ramps up my personality to a factor of ten, and to be honest that's not a good thing, because apparently deep down inside I really believe I am that awesome and can do all things and really have no problems only things that need removed from my path. Basically, whiskey + me = not good, because despite what I seem to really believe deep down I'm not actually all that.

The good news is I did NOT drink enough whiskey the other night to get to that point, and probably wouldn't have drank any then but I ran out of beer, but damn it I was not done drinking, because after the break-down (ALL HOPE IS LOST - THE VERY UNIVERSE ITSELF HATES ME, or at the very least just enjoys watching me suffer, you know the usual) I needed to feel good again. Then, of course, the morning after where you feel bad again, but still as I said the day after lead to me working some things out anyway. And then second day after I have potential hope.